Trying to decide where & what defines 'Home'

It has never mattered where we lived, when asked where 'home' was we'd always say Mtn. Home, AR. That's where hubby and I both grew up. I was only a year old when my family moved there so that's the only place I called home. It wasn't so much the town that I was calling 'home' it was one certain house, one certain piece of property. When my grandma, grandpa, aunt, mother and I moved there my grandpa built the family home. My grandma wasn't in good health and she needed to get away from the stress and pollution in IL. My family had taken vacations to MH and loved it.. my daddy (grandpa) loved to fish! MH was their Heaven on Earth! If you did deep enough in the walls of the home that sits on the property there's probably teeth marks somewhere from my teething...blood from an ouchie or who knows what reminders I left! Although my mom and I never lived in the house ourselves as we had a home next door...this house was my 'home'. After daddy died he left the house to my aunt...she lived with daddy and grandma and took care of them till the day they were called to God's Home. My aunt Dorothy loved her home and it was her wish that my mother live in it after she went Home to be with God and join grandma and daddy. It's over 2 acres and besides the family home, my mother has her home on it and there's the trailer that we lived in and later mom and Dorothy turned into an antique shop. They fondly nicknamed it simply 'serendipity'. In a perfect world my hubby would transfer to the MH division of his work and we'd move into mom's home and help her take care of the property. In the real world, we have 3 sons, working and in school and for the majority they pay all their own personal bills but live at home with us...so rent and utilities are taken care of by us. And in the real world right now they are not making enough money to take care of these bills themselves...they have college expenses that's keeping us all broke! It breaks my heart to see my mom worry about keeping up the property. It seems that it's become a $$ pit! She had to have a new roof put on, then the ice storm hit and tree trimmers had to be called, and there's so much yard that has to be taken care of and leaves to be raked. The cost to have some one take care of it is beyond what any of us can afford on top of everything else. It's too the point that mom just waits for something else to happen and cost even more....and I don't think she realizes how much I worry not only about the home but about her. She has her own health problems to deal with. So the point has come that we can't see a time in the near future that we will have the opportunity to move there so the time may be coming to start preparing to sell. I know this is hard on my mom..but I trully think this will hit me harder than any one. This is my 'home'. My thought process has gone to..if she sells the home and property, would I ever want to then move back to MH? I never thought I'd look at it in this format...I guess in my heart when I thought of a time when we'd retire it was just natural we'll return 'home' but I realize that was because I had a 'home' to return to. If the house and property are sold..there's really nothing to return to. I didn't realize I felt this way until I was taking one of my sons to classes at U of A yesturday and was talking about the situation with him..I'm not really sure I was talking to him..I think I was just talking and putting things in perspective. My mom always said if she thought something was bothering me and I needed to talk she's suggest we go for ice cream or something...she knew if she got me in the car I'd spill the beans! I think I'm still doing it! No wonder hubby tunes me out most of the time..I'm really just yammering in my own world. I want my mom to live the rest of her life without worry..I want her to be happy and I want her and I to enjoy this time together and do things together...with the house looming over both our head and my hubbys too...can we do this? I don't know. I guess it's time that I took a 'big girl pill' and grew up some...Life adventures aren't always fun..and I still have no idea what I'll learn from this one. I may have to find a new 'home'. Thankgoodness I'm typing this on a computer and the screen dosen't stain with tears.